Dear Jacquelyn,

My cousin recently sent me an invitation for our traditional holiday family gathering. I want to decline because I am still concerned about large gatherings and the coronavirus (COVID-19). I anticipate some backlash from my family because they already think I worry too much about coronavirus safety. How do I politely decline the invitation without causing an argument or hurt feelings?

Dear Reader,

The decision to attend upcoming holiday gatherings is a highly personalized one and it is natural to feel some apprehension when voicing an unpopular opinion.

You shouldn’t agree to something you are uncomfortable with just to make others happy. The right decision is the one that is best for your physical and mental health.

If someone says they think you are taking safety measures too seriously, you can try agreeing with them and say, “Yes, I am.”

Let them know this is what you are doing to stay safe. Stay positive and let them know how nice it is to hear from them and that you will miss everyone. Keep your response short and honest.

Be prepared for a comment or two from family members who do not see it the way you do. But don’t take it as an invitation to argue. That will rarely end well.

You can further reduce the risk of upsetting family by letting them know you are making the decision based on your comfort level rather than what they may or may not be doing. You can’t always keep people from being offended, but you can do your best to present it in a kind way.

Holiday festivities may not look the same this year but with carefully chosen words and kindness, you can share your personal decision not to attend even though it may not be fully understood by others.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2020 Jacquelyn Youst

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Jacquelyn Youst, President

Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol

Telephone - 484-895-1330