Q. My daughter is going to be 13 in October. During the last year, she went from having a few close friends to only one. I ask her why she no longer talks to her friends, and she says that they are part of the cool girls now and don’t associate with her anymore. She is also dealing with self-esteem-appearance and mean girl bullying issues. She stays in her room much of the day. She is seeing a therapist, but I can tell she is still hurting. I want to help her. What do you suggest?

The panel discussion began with panelist Mike Daniels, who said, “One of the most painful things parents can go through is watching their child suffer.

“This mom wants to jump in and keep her daughter from hurting, which is the natural parental instinct,” Daniels said.

Daniels noted that there was no information as to why the daughter was seeing a therapist.

“I think the first step is for mom to have a conversation with the therapist separate from the 13-year-old to ask how she can support her child in between therapy sessions,” said Daniels.

Therapy with children should always involve the family, panelist Wanda Mercado-Arroyo said, adding that “hopefully, the therapist has a good understanding of the girls and her family.”

Panelist Denise Continenza favored having a conversation with the daughter to find out how she feels about not having the other girls as friends anymore.

“Maybe she’s actually relieved. She has one good friend, so she is connected. Is this the child’s problem or the mother’s?” Continenza asked.

“Comfort the child, and follow up with the therapist to find out what the parents can do directly,” Daniels said.

“There’s a lot going on in this girl’s life, and the parents need to be sure that everyone is coordinating with and complementing each other,” said Daniels.

Panelist Pam Wallace expressed concern about the girl spending so much time in her room, and about the bullying issues.

Daniels suggested bringing up the issues with the daughter and “let her share what she is feeling.”

As for the bullying, Wallace suggested talking to teachers to find out if the school officials have any evidence of it.

This week’s panel: Pam Wallace, program coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist, Denise Continenza, extension educator; Wanda Mercado-Arroyo, educator and former school administrator; and Erin Stalsitz, Lehigh Children & Youth.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

The Times News, Inc., and affiliates (Lehigh Valley Press) do not endorse or recommend any medical products, processes, or services or provide medical advice. The views of the columnist and column do not necessarily state or reflect those of the Lehigh Valley Press. The article content is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, or other qualified health-care provider, with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.