Dear Jacquelyn,

One of my relatives is very sweet but she also is quite a talker. Our phone conversations sometimes go on for an hour or more. I do not want to hurt her feelings and seem uninterested, but there are times I can’t stay on the phone that long. How can I politely shorten the phone conversation?

Dear Reader,

It’s uncomfortable and awkward when you are busy and you find yourself in a conversation with someone who doesn’t seem like they will stop talking anytime soon. You have to end the call but you have no idea how to do it graciously.

Don’t worry. You do have some options to gently end a lengthy conversation without potentially hurting your dear relative’s feelings.

If you already know that the person is talkative and you don’t have time for a lengthy conversation, the best defense is a good offense. Set the expectation early. It will help your relative understand when you later tell her you have to go. You do this by stating it at the beginning of the call.

You can try saying, “I’m sorry, but right now I only have 15 minutes to talk.” Your sweet relative will have been given fair warning, and if you have to interrupt her, you won’t feel as self-conscious about doing so.

If you are caught off-guard and someone has turned on the chatter faucet, wait for a natural pause in the conversation and insert a transition sentence. Politely say, “I really enjoyed talking with you but I have to run. Can we talk later?” Reinforcing that they are important to you and that you had a nice time catching up will go a long way to buffer hurt feelings.

Ending a phone call gracefully is a bit of an art, but whether a phone call is short or long, politeness should always be your goal.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2020 Jacquelyn Youst