A goldfish. A star. A smiling red octopus. A sunshine. Each image is attached to a panel of a sky blue box as I stand in the middle of the room and ask the audience to call out what they see. Depending on which side of the box is facing them, their answers vary, and the cacophony creates ripples of laughter. I play devil’s advocate and ask the goldfish people how they could possibly see this when the folks on the other side of the room clearly see a star. Both sides inevitably shout out, “But that’s what we see!” And such is my object lesson on taking another person’s perspective.

Usually I use this activity in my workshops on implicit bias or relationship building with parents or collaborators, but lately, the topic of walking in someone else’s shoes, seeing things from another person’s point of view or taking a perspective different from your own had taken on new meaning. Whether in reference to the impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic, police brutality, social injustice/inequity, race or politics, everyone has their own perspective - and we all like to believe ours makes the most sense.

The reality is none of them by themselves make sense, and all of them together make a lot of sense. The key is to be able to take a step outside our own heads and see things through the eyes of others if only to educate ourselves and broaden our thinking. Our attitudes, beliefs and opinions are shaped by our experiences.

Take COVID-19, for instance.

I have several friends who work in health care and have seen things I hope to never see in my lifetime. One has spoken about having lost count of the number of hands she held as patients slipped away without loved ones there to comfort them. Another has personally witnessed people struggling to breathe as well as others who were recovering nicely one minute only to go into cardiac arrest the next. Yet another said she cannot bear to go back to the days when she watched one deceased person after another being carted away to the morgue.

I also have a husband who works in the food industry who has had an entirely different experience throughout the pandemic. He shares stories every day of businesses shuttering because they cannot afford to stay open anymore. The loss of revenue due to imposed restrictions has caused catastrophic economic impacts on many. Others I know work in businesses that were forced to close because they were not considered “essential” while larger corporations were free to sell the same products.

I have friends and family members who are dealing with chronic illnesses and are at greater risk of not only infection with the virus but also serious complications. And then there are all those parents, grandparents and others caring for children who have had to add teaching to their resumes as schools closed. The stress placed upon families as they tried to balance working - either from home or going out to places of employment - while providing adequate care for their children as well as academic support has been tremendous.

While reported cases of suspected child abuse declined during the pandemic, we can bet with certainty maltreatment of children has not gone down at all. Most likely, the new stressors on families has created an uptick in abuse, especially the more insidious emotional type. Add to that, the rates of substance abuse as well as suicide have begun to climb as coping capacity for many is hanging on a fine thread.

When we seek solutions or responses, we need to consider all perspectives. Ask people about their experiences when they say they are too afraid to even leave their house or enjoy dining outdoors at a restaurant. We need solutions that meet individual needs as well as preserve our public health, our economy and our mental well-being.

When we can agree we have in front of us a sky blue box with four different pictures on it, only then we can move forward to talk about the box itself.

Editor’s note: Denise Continenza is the family and consumer sciences educator with Penn State Extension, Lehigh and Northampton counties.