Q. My 12-year-old son is supposed to be doing class work on the computer, but every time I walk in on him, he is playing some kind of game or just surfing around the internet. I can’t watch over him all the time, so what can I do? I don’t want him to fall far behind in his school work.

The consensus of the panel is that as long as the boy’s grades are OK, it doesn’t matter if he spent time playing games on the computer.

“If his grades are good, I wouldn’t do anything,” panelist Erin Stalsitz said, adding, “If they are down, the mother needs to be more involved.”

“The parent needs to be sure his school work is getting done,” panelist Pam Wallace said, noting, “As long as he is keeping up with his studies, it doesn’t matter if he’s playing games on the computer. Maybe there isn’t that much work for him to do.”

The panelists qualified their positions based on whether the boy was using an access-restricted school computer that limited his ability to “surf the internet.” They also expressed the need for the parent to know what kind of games the child was playing.

Stalsitz recommended that the parent show an interest in the games, and ask the boy to show her how to play some of them.

Panelist Mike Daniels said, “Talking to her son about surfing the internet is essential, but If she approaches the subject as internet surfing interfering with his schoolwork, he may shut down any discussion.

“Talking about it as a powerful learning tool, but pointing out its dangers at the same time will allow the son to provide his own input,” said Daniels.

“Listen to him and his thoughts and feelings about what he is seeing on the internet,” Daniels continued.

If it presents an opportunity, the mother can address the subject of pornography.

“There is no more powerful intervention for an adolescent boy than to have a mother who talks to him about pornography and the effects it can have on him and others. He’ll never look at it the same way,” Daniels said.

This week’s panel: Pam Wallace, program coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Erin Stalsitz, Lehigh Children & Youth; Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist, and Denise Continenza, extension educator.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

The Times News, Inc., and affiliates (Lehigh Valley Press) do not endorse or recommend any medical products, processes, or services or provide medical advice. The views of the columnist and column do not necessarily state or reflect those of the Lehigh Valley Press. The article content is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, or other qualified health-care provider, with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.