I grew up with a first name, a middle name, a confirmation name, and my adoptive father’s last name. Lani Michele Rita Brezina.

When I married, I changed my last name to my husband’s surname. Sometimes I hyphenated it. But that’s cumbersome. Still, I would like to lose my husband’s last name. Except it is also my children’s last name.

I’ve put a lot of thought into a name change.

There’s Brezina, the last name I grew up with.

There’s my birth father’s last name, Gonzelez.

Or my birth mother’s maiden name, Rose.

Or maybe my paternal grandmother’s last name, DelValle, since I look most like her.

Of course, if I choose any of those, it may upset whichever side of my multifaceted family is not represented. Ugh!

And if I do change it, should I hyphenate it, so my kids’ last name comes first? Really, none of them sound great when I put Goins in front of them. Did I mention I can be very slow making decisions?

Maybe I should just go with my first name. Lani. Like Cher or Madonna. Or does that seem pretentious?

Hardly anyone calls me by my first name anyway. The people who matter most to me call me Mama, or Mom. That’s the name that matters most to me.

So I think I will just keep thinking about it a while longer.