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Respectfully Yours: Virtually-yours wedding requires real presents

Dear Jacquelyn,

I was supposed to be attending a friend’s destination wedding next month. Because of the pandemic travel bans, the ceremony will be in the couple’s living room, with guests attending via the Zoom social media platform. Now that their reception is cancelled, do I still give a gift, and if so, how much should I spend?

Dear Reader,

Wedding bells are still ringing virtually despite the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. Couples are saying “I do” on their original wedding date with virtual ceremonies.

Finding that perfect wedding gift can be tough, especially for a virtual wedding. Since these are certainly unusual times, we have to follow our own good judgment in making our decisions.

The cost of a wedding present during a pandemic or otherwise is determined by two primary factors: how much you can afford and how close you are to the couple. Providing that you are financially able, your generosity should be no different than if you were attending the reception in person.

You have already been invited to join the bride and groom on their special day. Even if you cannot attend the wedding or reception in person, you will still want to give them your gift.

Your gift represents your well-wishes to the newlyweds as they begin their new lives together. It is not a quid pro quo based on how much they did or didn’t spend on a reception.

As for what to give, keep it simple. Money or a gift of a virtual monetary present could be your best bet during this unsettling era, especially if the couple is facing economic uncertainties.

If you prefer to buy a gift from the bridal registry, order it as soon as possible. With many retailers experiencing shipping delays, the longer you wait, the longer it will be before the couple will be able to enjoy it.

Wedding season is guaranteed to look a little different this year. But even though weddings aren’t quite the same, there’s still the need to give a gift and the desire to give a good one.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2020 Jacquelyn Youst