Dear Jacquelyn,

These days, going out for any reason is a challenge. Taking a walk or waiting in a checkout line can quickly become uncomfortable when someone is not abiding by the recommended social-distancing rules. How do you politely tell someone who is too close to back away?

Dear Reader,

In the age of social distancing, it’s a whole new world of manners.

Things that were once considered polite, like shaking hands, are now forbidden.

None of this comes naturally and it’s not easy. We are having to learn to do things that feel discourteous, that once might have been thought of as rude.

But social distancing, trying to stand at least six feet apart from anyone you encounter, is a new manner of our times.

Part of the reason we might be having trouble asserting physical boundaries right now is that this is new to all of us. It goes against our natural patterns of behavior.

We’re so used to passing mere inches from each other on the sidewalk. Overcoming our own normal behaviors and also figuring out how to adjust other people’s behaviors can be challenging.

When you need to speak up, the exact words you use matter less than how you deliver them. Without being confrontational try saying, “I’m trying to maintain the six-foot distance. Would you mind giving me a little more space, please?”

You can also borrow authority if you don’t feel comfortable asserting yourself. In this case, you can defer to health officials. Something like, “I think we’re supposed to be staying six feet apart, so let’s keep some distance.”

Try to give others the benefit of the doubt. We are not used to staying six feet away from people at all times. It’s possible they just aren’t paying attention to where they’re standing.

Be a model of courteous and safe behavior for others. We are doing it because we care about them, not because we are afraid of them.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2020 Jacquelyn Youst