Dear Jacquelyn,

I am heartbroken, but we’ve made the decision to postpone our wedding ceremony because of the coronavirus pandemic. What is the best way to let guests know we are postponing our wedding and what do we do about gifts we already received?

Dear Reader,

It’s a difficult act of love to postpone your ceremony in light of the requirement for social distancing during the coronavirus pandemic.

Postponing your wedding celebration can feel overwhelming, but you will get through it. In a time of crisis, “polite” means doing the right thing for everyone concerned. Instead of panicking, it’s time to plan.

It’s important to let guests know as soon as possible that you are postponing the ceremony and that the date is to be announced.

If you have created a wedding website, it is the best way to keep guests informed. They will appreciate the information so they are able to inquire about airline and hotel refunds.

If you do not have a wedding website, send emails or make phone calls to ensure everyone is aware of the changes.

Once you select a new date for the wedding, you might consider sending out a new invitation (digital or paper).

If you have printed invitations but haven’t sent them, you can add an insert with the new details to put on top of the invitation in the envelope, so that you aren’t wasting the invitations you already have.

If you have already received gifts, a thank-you note would not be out of line. In the note, mention that you are looking forward to seeing the wedding guests as soon as the pandemic is over and you can choose a new wedding date.

This is not a normal situation, so standard protocol does not apply. If you were calling off your wedding unrelated to the coronavirus pandemic, you would send the gifts back.

Your decision to postpone was in the best interest of all concerned. It is truly a selfless act.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2020 Jacquelyn Youst