Dear Jacquelyn,

Ever since we got married, well-meaning family members have been asking when are we going to start a family. We have been politely smiling and trying to give a vague answer. What is the best way to politely answer the “When are you having a baby question?”

Dear Reader,

This is a very personal question that when posed will make most people feel uncomfortable.

Some people do not have a sensitive awareness of boundaries when it comes to personal topics. The problem is, no matter how you respond, you know that your response will be analyzed.

Before you say the first thing that comes to mind, pause and take a deep breath. Even though the question feels intrusive, most people don’t have nefarious motives.

Take into consideration these well-meaning family members were probably part of your wedding celebration. To them, this would be the next step and they want to be a part of your journey as a married couple.

Many people who ask “When you’re going to start a family?” are only trying to make conversation. They see it as the small-talk equivalent of “How do you like this warm weather?” Often, all they want to know is how things are going and this is a sideways method of inquiring.

Even though the subject matter is sensitive, it’s possible the people asking mean no harm and only want to offer support.

When posed with this question, it’s best to smile, have a stock answer ready like “When we’re ready. So, how’s your [insert job or family here]?” Don’t elaborate more than necessary and then change the subject.

With so many potential emotions tied to this question, answering in a way that is most comfortable for you is the best.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2020 Jacquelyn Youst