Dear Jacquelyn,

I’ve been dating a very nice gentleman. Unfortunately, I’m just not feeling that “spark” to take it further. I can see he is definitely interested in taking things to a serious romantic place. What is the best and kindest way to part company?

Dear Reader,

There’s no perfect way to end a relationship with someone. But you can try to let them down as gently as possible.

The best place to start is to let them know as soon as possible. Dragging out a breakup is unkind, especially when you are aware that someone has feelings for you and you have different plans.

Once you know that the person you are dating is no longer in your plans, it’s best to be upfront.

Your gentleman friend deserves the courtesy of a face-to-face conversation or at least a phone call.

The best approach is to be truthful, clear and direct. While you don’t need to get into every detail about why you no longer want to continue the relationship, deliver the news in a sensitive way.

Let him know he is a great person, but just not the right match for you.

Letting someone down gently means that it is thought through and deserves a proper conversation. It may help to write down exactly what you want to say in advance to help anchor the message so, in the moment, you are able to effectively communicate your thoughts.

Remember to be kind in the moment. Treat the other person as you would want to be treated.

Kindness and empathy go a long way in a difficult situation like this.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2020 Jacquelyn Youst