Are you a poor, lonely, sad, single woman having a hard time finding the right man to take care of you? Have you forgotten how to be a woman? Have no fear, the men of the manosphere are here to save you and re-educate you in how to be a “proper” woman.

Don’t miss The 22 Convention: Make Women Great Again, planned for May 1-3 in Orlando, Fla. At this convention, the roster of all-male speakers promises to “help you dramatically improve your life as a woman and total femininity.”

The manosphere is a loose collection of misogynist movements associated with the alt-right, including men’s rights, anti-feminism, fathers’ rights, involuntary celibates, voluntary celibates, Men Going Their Own Way and more who promote certain forms of masculinity.

The men of the manosphere claim feminist meddling and sabotage have failed to teach today’s women how to be proper women. The convention will tell you where women have gone wrong.

According to the convention website, “Feminism today has become a radical assault on all forms of positive, traditional femininity - you know, the one hard coded into your DNA.”

Now, I’m no geneticist, but I’m pretty sure the desire to obey men and always look flawless isn’t hardwired into our DNA.

However, it is ingrained pretty deeply into society, going back to when it was the norm for women to stay home, mind the children, have the house immaculate, prepare dinner and have a martini ready for when the husband came home from work. That may work for some women but not all.

There are several topics to be covered at the convention. One is the war on motherhood. They claim women are waiting too long to have children and are deprioritizing motherhood. This “feminist anti-motherhood propaganda” has led to poverty, crime, mental health issues and the overall decline in well-being in America, according to the website.

Another topic is titled “Beauty and the Obesity.” These men are appalled by how far women have come from being beautiful.

“Men admire healthy, fit women. They are after all sizing you up for reproduction, and your decisions will be passed on to your children through the choices you make via epigenetics,” the website says.

While I do believe it is important to take care of yourself and live a healthy lifestyle, the reason should not be because it is what men want. Your health should be for you.

Another topic is the apparent war on love and romance. According to the website, people are having a hard time finding solid, healthy relationships due to the attack on positive masculinity and femininity.

“The result is a depolarized mess where men act like women, women act like men, everyone’s confused and nothing ‘works’ anymore,” the website states.

Basically, instead of being your own person and being comfortable in your own skin and your own choices, you must adhere to the “rules,” which have been set for your gender and stay in your little box. Black or white, super masculine or hyper feminine - there is no middle ground.

The convention promises to raise your femininity by 500 percent.

The website claims, “For the past several hundred thousand years of human life on this planet, masculine men have preferred feminine women in all areas of life: from the kitchen to the bedroom, dating to relationships, marriage, family and beyond.”

The convention will also apparently help you get pregnant “and have unlimited babies,” as long as your biological clock is still ticking.

“Our speakers will teach you the skills to get wifed up, knocked up and have as many babies as your heart desires with the time and fertility you have left,” the website promises.

I am 28, not married, living with my boyfriend of four years and never planning on having children. I am not what one would call a “soft” or “cuddly” person. I prefer to wear baggy clothes, most of my wardrobe is black, I rarely brush my hair, I never wear makeup, and I have several tattoos. Some may think I drink and cuss entirely too much and that I talk back and constantly challenge authority. I can devour almost an entire pizza in one sitting.

None of this changes the fact that I am a strong, successful woman.

I don’t know when women stopped being “great.” Is it when we found our voice and stopped being taken advantage of? Is it when we demanded to be treated like the people we are and refused to be limited simply because of a few different anatomical parts?

When I first read about the convention, it made me angry. How dare these men tell us how to be women? What gives them the right to shame us for our choices and attempt to shape us into their idea of what a woman should be?

However, the more I read, the less angry I became. I started laughing at the ridiculousness of the entire thing. The architect behind the entire thing, Anthony Dream Johnson, president of the manosphere, even said one of his goals is to upset and anger people. He just wants to cause conflict. So instead of calling my fellow woman warriors to arms, let’s enjoy a laugh at this futile attempt to return females to the stone age.

For those women who are interested and want to spend $999 on an early- bird ticket to the convention - have fun. I will not judge you for your choices, and I encourage you to be the best version of yourself that you can.

To everyone else, just keep being the wonderful, independent people you are.

Samantha Anderson

editorial assistant

Whitehall-Coplay Press

Northampton Press

Catasauqua Press