Dear Jacquelyn,

I was out to dinner with my husband, and the owner of the restaurant came over to our table to talk. The owner is an old friend of my husband. I had never met him. Initially, it seemed fine but I became quickly uncomfortable. The owner stood at the center of our table and kept his back to me. He did not make any effort to acknowledge me. I sat there not sure what to do and clueless as to how to jump into the conversation. What do you do when someone does not acknowledge you?

Dear Reader,

Common courtesy says you acknowledge someone. Not being introduced and acknowledged is a sign of disrespect.

Anyone would be very uncomfortable to be snubbed in this way. I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions.

However, I am going to take the liberty to jump to a conclusion this time. Your husband’s friend was rude and has surprisingly poor social skills for being in the hospitality business.

Most people don’t mean to be rude and it’s possible to be rude without even realizing it. Not that it makes the situation better, but some people do not always have their social graces up to par all the time.

It’s possible that the restaurant owner felt what he had to say would not be interesting to you. It’s a poor excuse for ignoring you, but not everyone is clued in as to how their actions are affecting others.

It’s unfortunate that your husband missed the opportunity to introduce you. A simple “This is my wife” would have made you feel more comfortable.

Be prepared the next time this happens to you. There is an art to breaking into a conversation gracefully without feeling awkward.

Interrupting is typically a rude thing to do. In fact, most of the time interrupting a conversation isn’t recommended.

There are situations that call for speaking up. You want to be as polite as possible. Wait for a break in the conversation and say, “Excuse me, I don’t believe we’ve met.”

The truth is, we are going to encounter people whose social graces are not up to snuff. Take the high road. Remain coolly polite and unruffled.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of National Civility Foundation.

All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2019 Jacquelyn Youst