Q. My three-month-old daughter wakes up at least three times during the night. My husband thinks we should let her cry it out until she goes back to sleep. I think she is too young. I’m getting different opinions from my relatives, and I am not sure what to do. Can you help?

It was apparent from the panel’s discussion that there are many reasons why babies cry a lot.

“Crying is a way for babies to communicate,” panelist Pam Wallace explained. “So, whether or not the baby is hungry or needs to be changed, she requires some attention.

“The rule of thumb is hold her, feed her, change her, keep her calm, don’t talk and engage in minimal interaction,” Wallace said, adding that as long as the baby is OK, she should be put back to bed.

Letting a three-month-old cry is OK, according to panelist Erin Stalsitz, but the parents need to determine if the baby has enough to eat to sleep all night. She suggested trying a bigger bottle.

“Let her cry, but if it happens every night, it could also be a problem with digestion,” panelist Wanda Mercado-Arroyo said.

Panelist Denise Continenza said it tends to depend on the child: “Children develop their own method of self-soothing. If the parents respond right away, this becomes baby’s way of self-soothing.”

Wallace concurred, noting, “They [babies] know how to get what they want. Someone eventually is going to come and get them.”

Another possible cause, according to Stalsitz, might be that the baby is napping too much during the day.

Continenza said there may be medical reasons, so the parents might want to schedule a pediatrician appointment.

At night, when the baby starts crying, Wallace suggested using a timer: “Let her cry for 10 minutes or so, then go in and check to make sure she is fine. Next time, let her cry a little longer. The parents also should try to establish a routine at bedtime, and stay with it as much as possible.”

Stalsitz said getting advice from other people can be useful, “But you have to consider your own child and its needs.”

Stalsitz was concerned that the parents don’t seem to be on the same page concerning the infant’s crying. “They need to educate themselves,” said Stalsitz.

The panel suggested that the parents check out “Better Kid Care” online, which includes some 200 videos on child development, and a few that specifically concern sleep.

This week’s team of parenting experts are: Pam Wallace, Program Coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Denise Continenza, extension educator; Wanda Mercado-Arroyo, former teacher and school administrator, and Erin Stalsitz, Lehigh County Children and Youth Casework Supervisor.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

The Times News, Inc., and affiliates (Lehigh Valley Press) do not endorse or recommend any medical products, processes, or services or provide medical advice. The views of the columnist and column do not necessarily state or reflect those of the Lehigh Valley Press. The article content is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, or other qualified health-care provider, with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.