Dear Jacquelyn,

I have a weekly ladies’ luncheon. My friend called to say she has had the flu all week and will attend just to get out of the house. How do I tell her she shouldn’t come?

Dear Reader, Showing up at the luncheon when you are days into a case of the flu is completely inexcusable.

The sniffles are one thing, but the flu is dangerous and your friend needs to stay home.

To be properly sick and then go to a small place for a luncheon is wrong. The last thing anybody at the ladies’ luncheon signed up for is to exchange socializing for the flu. There’s no reason her social calendar should trump common sense.

Your friend has a contagious condition, and she’s putting other people’s health at risk. To top it off, her own condition might even worsen if she does not take proper care of herself. Out of respect for the women’s group, your friend should stay home until she is 100 percent well.

How do you let her know she shouldn’t attend the luncheon?

By showing you care. Acknowledge that you understand her frustration and how difficult it is to be temporarily housebound. Gently remind your friend that she needs to be patient and pace herself carefully.

Include in your conversation that you’re concerned and want to see her recover without complications. Pass along to her that you and the other females look forward to catching up the following week.

Share with her some ideas and activities that will help with the boredom and cabin fever. If she is well enough, suggest she try to go for a slow walk around the block. The change in scenery without coming in close contact with people might give her the boost she needs. She is apparently craving some social interaction.

If she has access to a computer, suggest she give social media a try, including video phone chats. That would allow her to see people without infecting them in the process.

When you have a cold or the flu, you need to do whatever it takes to prevent spreading your sickness to others.

It’s polite to encourage your friend to take better care of herself and look out for others while ill.

Respectfully Yours, Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2019 Jacquelyn Youst