Q. The new school year is starting soon and my son will be entering fifth grade. Last year, he started school on a good note, with a lot of self-confidence and good grades. By the end of the year, however, his self-confidence had disappeared, and his grades were down. How can I prepare him for the coming school year?

The panel of experts tried to reassure the mother by saying that the changes she is noticing in her son may be because the transitions between third and fourth grades are difficult, and they get even harder going into fifth grade.

Panelist Erin Stalsitz said adjustments become harder in the higher grades as teachers try to prepare their students for middle school, where students have increased responsibility and are expected to be more independent. Beyond that explanation, panelist Chad Stefanyak said that pinpointing the problem is difficult because there are so many components that might be contributing to what is happening. “It could be that every year the curriculum is just getting more difficult. If the son is very competitive, getting lower grades might be affecting his self-esteem. It could be a classmate he depended on moved away, and now he’s feeling lost. It could also be just a bad teacher. There are so many unknowns.”

According to panelist Joanne Raftas, “The prefrontal cortex develops at different rates, so there is a big divide between children’s levels of maturity, and their ability to handle planning and organization. That can really determine how students are doing in the classroom.” Panelist Denise Cotinenza said it is important for the parent to understand the son, and to try and find out what is happening. Talking to the son would be the first step. “If the son is having a problem, the parent can’t solve it for him, but what the parent can do is provide the son his support. The parent can also set the stage by encouraging the son to solve his own problems when they arise.”

As part of the parent’s assessment of the situation, panelist Wanda Mercado-Arroyo suggested that the parent try to determine when during the fourth grade he began to notice a change in the son. Did something happen at that time that could be linked to the son’s change in behavior?

Stefanyak said it was also important for the parent to introduce himself to the new teacher at the beginning of the school year. It might also help to talk to the son’s fourth grade teacher. Picking up on that, panelist Pam Wallace said she would recommend making the new teacher aware of what happened during the previous school year. As far as preparing the son for the new school year, the panelists recommended helping him organize everything he will need to make the transition as smooth as possible.

This week’s team of parenting experts are: Pam Wallace, Program Coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Erin Stalsitz, casework supervisor, Lehigh County Children and Youth, Chad Stefanyak, School Counselor; Joanne T. Raftes, Registered Play Therapist, and Wanda Mercado-Arroyo, Educator and former school administrator.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org. The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.