Q. We leave next week for our family vacation. It will be a nine-hour drive with our three children: two boys ages four and six, and our 13-year-old daughter. My patience is already taxed, and I need a good vacation. How can I keep this fun for all of us?

Since the parent is already taxed and taking on a lot of the responsibility for the trip, panelist Chad Stefanyak suggested that she include the children in the planning, such as what snacks and drinks to bring along. He also urged her to change her expectations from the negative to “This is going to be an adventure.”

Picking up on the theme, panelist Pam Wallace said, “Try not to take yourself and things so seriously. Try to keep a sense of humor. Find ways to make the drive playful, creative and fun.”

Because of the age difference of the daughter, she could be helpful in entertaining her younger siblings. Panelist Mike Daniels said the parent should talk to the daughter to work out some kind of incentive: an increase in her allowance or a chance to do something she wants during the vacation. As part of that conversation, the parents should assure her that they want her to have a great time on this vacation.

In addition to taking along board and electronic games, as well as a DVD player, several panelists talked about giving the children maps to help them follow where they are going. That can be combined with the children trying to identify major roads or highways along the way.

Another idea might be to give each younger child a photo of a different kind or color of a car, and then have them try to find the same car on the road. There could be a prize for finding the most number of identifiable cars. That is something the daughter could help with to keep the youngsters engaged.

Planning should include what to do if one of the children gets car-sick, as well as researching ways to prevent it.

Also, include designated stops, but not necessarily just for the bathroom. Is there an interesting place that the children could be told about before the trip that they could look forward to seeing?

Stefanyak offered an alternative to the usual travel plan: “Try to incorporate sleep into the trip. Leave after dinner so the children are awake only for a few of the nine hours.”

Once at the vacation destination, Daniels encouraged that the parents plan something that is relaxing for them, such as a day at the spa.

This week’s team of parenting experts are: Pam Wallace, Program Coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Denise Continenza, Extension Educator, Food, Families and Health, Penn State Extension; Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist, CTS; Erin Stalsitz, casework supervisor, Lehigh County Children and Youth; and Chad Stefanyak, School Counselor.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org. The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.