Q. My 10-year-old daughter came down for breakfast this morning, scared and not wanting to go to school. She had heard about the Parkland, Fla., school shootings, and is afraid that could happen at her school. I was able to calm her down and get her off to school this time, but what do I tell her that will reassure her that she is safe?

The first discussion centered around the parent’s question about reassuring her child.

“I don’t think the parent should have reassurance as a goal,” panelist Mike Daniels said. “Comfort is one thing. Reassurance is another. The world has become a scary place. Kids are on the Internet, and they’re seeing and hearing things all the time.”

Panelist Chad Stefanyak said, “No one is more vested in safety than the local school district. The parent can explain that every school has plans for school violence. It’s a sign of the times that schools walk through drills all the time.”

Noting that “it is important for children to have a safe place at home,” panelist Wanda Mercado-Arroyo said, “But we need to explain to them that they can’t stay at home all the time. Life is what it is and we have to be able to deal with it. There are always safety measures taken by the schools, by churches, by places they go, but we need to explain that the children always need to keep their eyes open, and be alert to strangers.”

“I would encourage the parent to follow up after school, and ask what the daughter’s friends are saying. Did they talk about it in class?” Daniels said.

“At age 10, it’s a little early to be having a lot of discussion about this subject, so the parent should take a cue from the daughter. Have a conversation about fear in general. Provide opportunities for the child to talk about it again if she chooses.”

Panelist Denise Continenza said the parent should empathize with her daughter’s concerns and not downplay them. She also suggested that one way to make the daughter feel more in control is by talking to her about what she could do. For example, she could be encouraged to talk to a teacher, counselor or another trusted adult about her concerns.

Mercado-Arroyo recommended that the parent also talk to a teacher and counselor to become knowledgeable about the safety procedures in the school and in the classroom should a violent situation occur, and to discuss how the school is dealing with students’ fears.

The panel advised the parent to be observant of any problems that might stem from the daughter’s fears, such as lack of sleep or loss of appetite.

These symptoms could linger, and are good reasons to involve a school counselor.

This week’s team of parenting experts are: Pam Wallace, Program Coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Chad Stefanyak, school counselor; Wanda Mercado-Arroyo; educator and former school administrator; Denise Continenza, Extension Educator, Food, Families and Health, Penn State Extension, and Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist, CTS.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org.

The Family Project weekly column is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.