Dear Jacquelyn,

I have two children ages 7 and 10, who will be spending time visiting extended family during the holidays. I am concerned. They are typical kids and sometimes have trouble remembering to use their manners. It would help if I could explain to them why they need to use manners and would be grateful for any tips to help.

Dear Reader,

During the holidays when children are consumed in the holiday excitement, it is extremely difficult for them to remember their manners. Preemptively practicing their manners beforehand will help.

By the ages of 7 and 10, they have already grasped the basics: please, thank you, and chew with your mouth closed. Providing them with invaluable tools of more advanced social graces will serve them well long after the holidays.

I recommend reminding them how important it is to be gracious. Talk to them about how special it is that someone took the time to think of them and buy them a gift. Remind them of the time they browsed the stores looking for the perfect gift for Aunt Linda.

Teach children to write thank-you cards. You don’t have to use traditional store-bought cards. You can make homemade cards. Use colorful paper and make it fun. This shouldn’t feel like a chore. Grown-ups will be impressed when they receive a thank-you card. In addition to that, it will become something the children will continue to do into adulthood. That’s the whole idea.

Another impressive social skill is introductions. Children likely will be greeted by either an aunt they see only once a year or a grown-up they have never met. Greeting new people can be nerve wracking for children, but if they make an attempt it makes a big difference.

Being prepared and knowing what to do will help them feel more comfortable meeting new people. This may be difficult for a shy child. However, you can help them along by practicing on toys until they get comfortable.

Instruct the child to smile, make eye contact, say their name and add, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” This will show others that your child is bright and friendly.

A proper good-bye is just as important. Have your children walk visitors to the door to say goodbye. It’s in the little things that we are remembered fondly. When we teach children that holidays are about spending time with others and not just about the presents, we are helping them become gracious adults.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of Jacquelyn Youst Etiquette Consulting, specializing in protocol training. She works with the National Civility Foundation. All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2017Jacquelyn Youst