In the midst of recent tragedies and current events, the topic of civility comes to the forefront. By definition, civility is formal politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech, focusing on other people rather than our own self interests. George Washington wrote “Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior.” Today most of these rules seem outdated.

However, the core message remains relevant; setting aside our self-interests and focusing on respecting others.

The past year has brought us never ending daily news blasts showcasing the division in our country. The glorification of the division makes it hard to gauge where kindness and civility went. Highlighting the unfortunate negative behavior gets enough news coverage. The focus is to reinforce positive encounters and build our communities.

The recent horrific tragedy in Las Vegas demonstrates that we are still a civil nation. In days following the massacre, the news brought us stories of heroes who put their own safety aside to save others. Media headlines tell the stories of heroes shielding others from the relentless spray of bullets, strangers treating bullet wounds, and others carrying the injured out of harm’s way. From this nightmare, there are countless stories being told about the kindness of strangers.

Earlier in September, hurricanes decimated the South. This crisis brought out the best in our communities: The brave weather people who put themselves in harm’s way to track the storms and warn us of their path; the communities of people willing to donate personal boats, time, and money to bring basic necessities to those in need. We are reminded that in times of crisis, we are there for each other.

Civility and politics are mutually non-exclusive. Politics has created a division in our country, we can not agree to disagree, respectfully.

The 22nd rule from George Washington’s 110 Rules of Civility is “Show not yourself glad at the misfortune of another though he were your enemy.” We are reminded that we need to adjust our mindset and work together not only in crisis but in our daily life.

Civility is necessary every day in our workplace and communities, in tragedy and in calm.

In the large scheme of things, these are small but powerful ways to show respect, kindness and build our communities.

These tips are a start, a way to engender good will while showing compassion.

The goal is to pro-actively practice, random acts of kindness.

1. Extend yourself and meet someone new today.

2. Make a point of acknowledging a random person during the course of the day; make small talk.

3. Listen to someone else’s challenges. Encourage strength and faith where there is fear, doubt.

4. Send an unexpected card or personal note – not an email

5. Forgive someone.

6. Let your bright light shine from within and be felt by another.

7. Make someone laugh.

8. Extend a compliment.

9. Make an unexpected personal telephone call – not a text.

10. Visit someone who is sick.

11. Pay it forward i.e. coffee, a toll.

12. Offer your seat to another.

13. Hold/open a door or elevator for another.

14. Consciously decide not to engage in road-rage or stress out in traffic jams; breathe, sing.

15. Smile – it tells the brain you are happy and suddenly, you are!

Jacquelyn Youst is a Lehigh Valley etiquette consultant. She an be reached at 484-895-1330 or jacquelyn@jacquelynyoust.com.