Maybe some of you guys can sympathize with my husband. He has this burden to bear - a wife who attends sporting events with him but does everything but watch the actual game. Sound familiar?

It’s not that I am disinterested in the game; it is just that other things tend to attract my attention - team mascots, fan participation games, ground crew disco dancing. These all override my focus on the contest in front of me. And then there are those conversations going on all around. I don’t intentionally eavesdrop, but some conversations are so bizarre that they almost beckon me to listen - such was the one I overheard at a Minor League Baseball game recently.

A group of three young guys was seated behind us, and their nonstop chattering was quite entertaining. One thought he knew more about baseball than the other, and I couldn’t help but laugh at the quasi Laurel and Hardy routine going on behind me. It was all the likes of bad sports commentating. Even my husband couldn’t help cracking up at their digs at each other and apparent limited knowledge of the game. Then the one guy’s phone rang. Because he had a rather loud voice - and I still had my listening ears on - I couldn’t help hearing the conversation between what I interpreted as that between a young child and a father.

Comments like “I miss you, too, buddy” and “I am coming to see you soon” tugged at my heartstrings. The conversation then seemed to focus on what father and child would be doing when he visited the little guy in the near future.

“We are going to hang out and go fishing and play ball. We are going to have so much fun.”

They said their goodbyes with lots of “I love yous” and “See you soons.” And then the conversation among the young men changed.

The guys all started talking about their children, and there were many similarities between their situations. Apparently, all of them were distanced from the mother of their boys, and the current relationships with them were adversarial. (I know this because the words they used to describe the other parent would not be in the dictionary.) They seemed to spend sporadic time with their kids. They talked about how they intend to take them to amusement parks and do all kinds of exciting, fun things this summer. One spoke pretty audibly about how much money he had saved for his son.

They all shared stories about what they are buying for their kids’ next birthdays. They bashed the mothers and their choices of paramours. They seemed to enjoy the fact that their child’s perceptions of Dad were that he comes to “rescue” them from a mean ogre of a mother. They agreed that they would like to spend more time with their sons if only they had the time or the money, but when they are together, they have so much fun.

These boys will be indeed well-supplied with enjoyable experiences, exciting play things and a lot of memories. The only thing they will lack is the consistent love and devotion from a father - someone who is there through thick and thin, on a regular basis, having fun but also providing structure and discipline.

I wanted so badly to turn around and make one statement. My husband knew what I was thinking, and his face said, “Don’t do it.” Here is what I would have liked to tell them: Being a dad is not about making an appearance; it’s about staying in the whole game. It means being able to communicate with the co-parent to make decisions about what is best for the children. It means having to discipline children when you would rather play with them and have fun together. It means making time and setting priorities that place the child’s best interest first. It means being present with your child even when you would rather be at a baseball game and having some cold ones with friends.

I couldn’t tell you what the final score of the game was or who even won for that matter, but I do know that I ran into a group of young fathers that day who were heading toward striking out with their children if they continued with their current game plan.

Editor’s note: Denise Continenza is the family and consumer sciences educator with Penn State Extension, Lehigh and Northampton counties.