The sudden ruckus woke me. As I peered at the clock, I wondered who was yelling at 2:20 in the morning.

I soon found out.

Tenants in the ever-problematic apartment building next door were having a war (again).

A male was shouting; a woman was screaming; doors were slamming and objects were hitting the wall repeatedly.

This battle lasted for more than an hour.

As I lay there listening, I thought of Valentine’s Day and wondered whether he would buy her a box of chocolates.

I guess that was a crazy thought, but my brain was sleepy.

What, after all, would these people be celebrating on that special day in February set aside for lovers?

Surely a couple who hurl insults and obscenities at each other, not to mention furniture, would have little to commemorate on this day of love.

Couples who truly are valentines for life would not treat one another that way.

I thought of some couples I know who have been married for decades. When they wed, they expected to be together until death parted them.

Apparently some young folks today expect to be together only until someone better comes along.

How do long-wed couples keep their marriages vibrant and intact over many years? What is their secret to remaining valentines, despite life’s hardships and temptations?

For me, marriage is like a garden. It needs tender care and feeding and weeding to make it flourish.

My husband says a successful marriage is based on communication and togetherness.

“You have to be able to talk things over in a mature way. And it’s important to enjoy each other’s company,” he explains.

A recently widowed friend in her mid 80s attributes her 62-year marriage to happiness.

“It helps to be happy,” Nancy notes.

“He was a happy guy and I’m easy-going; we hit it off and liked to do the same things.”

She added, “We had goals that we worked toward together.”

Eddie and Althea, who met in high school and who, in March, will celebrate their 90th birthdays just one day apart, are married 68 years.

She, too, attributes their long relationship to communication.

“Couples have to learn to talk things over when they’re angry. Every day we have cocktail hour and sit and discuss things. He’s easy to talk with,” Althea reveals.

Jo and Bill, married 33 years, “enjoy the same things and laugh a lot together,” Jo explains, adding every year they take time for a vacation together without their son.

Being a romantic can’t hurt, either. In every card her creative husband gives her, he includes a special poem. And each night they make sure to kiss before bed and profess their love for each other.

Jo’s advice for couples seeking longevity together? “You have to overlook the person’s faults.”

Bill, overhearing his wife, quickly chimes in: “I don’t have any.”

Another Bill, married 55 years when his wife passed away last summer, attributes his long marriage to compatibility.

“We did a lot together. We especially enjoyed square dancing and traveling,” he says.

And when the inevitable disagreements arose?

“When we had an argument, I left the room,” Bill recalls. “Once you say something you’ll regret later, you can’t ever take it back.”

Apparently Bill was easy to argue with.

“My wife was always right,” he declares, laughing.

Catherine, a widow who was married 43 years, says she and her late husband “both believed in the marriage contract. Once you make a contract, you keep it,” she insists.

My pastor, who counsels couples and who himself has been married for 58 years, attributes longevity in marriage to “a lot of love and patience.”

But by far the most important quality in a successful relationship is “respect for each other’s opinions,” he says.

These long-married couples, and others like them, know how to achieve love that endures: companionship, communication, commitment and compromise.

As we celebrate the bonds of the heart this month, it is reassuring to realize that living happily ever after isn’t just for fairy tales.