When the father of a church member died last month, the family honored his memory in a wonderful way.

His children decided to give away his belongings rather than try to sell anything.

"You only get pennies on the dollar at a yard sale," his daughter said, explaining why the family did not want to expend time and effort on a sale.

"Besides," she continued, "so many of his neighbors are low income and can use the furniture. That would have made my dad happy."

I, too, was a lucky beneficiary of the family's kind generosity. Apparently the man collected historical books about early Allentown, Lehigh County and surrounding areas.

In the books are numerous black and white photographs of stores, parks, restaurants and places I remembered from childhood visits. This gift has brought back delightful memories.

As I page through the volumes, I am reminded of the gentle, quiet man who passed away in his 90s. He will always be present for me in these well-preserved history books.

Donating a loved one's personal belongings is such a special way to memorialize the deceased. The items will be a constant reminder of the person and will keep him or her close.

I often feel the presence of a departed friend or relative when I see or use an object that either belonged to or was made by someone dear who passed away.

An acquaintance who received a collection of colorful, wild neck ties from his close friend's widow likes to pick out a special tie to wear on his late friend's birthday or on other memorable occasions.

"It keeps him near," the man said, recalling seeing his friend wearing a particular tie.

When my late husband died right before Christmas almost 24 years ago, I donated many of his clothes to several charitable organizations and gave special items to his brother.

Knowing that my husband's clothing would warm a homeless or destitute man gave me comfort during my time of grief.

My husband's brother, too, received comfort from the personal items he had seen his older brother wearing.

With the holidays approaching, countless grieving people will be facing the season without loved ones for the first time. Many of these folks will be searching for ways to keep the memories of their deceased ones alive.

What better way to bring the person near than with a personal item that was special to the deceased.

A photo of the loved one who is gone, along with a cherished memento associated with the person, can be present at holiday get-togethers.

Perhaps that little remembrance display can facilitate talking about the departed one. Reminiscing about a loved one who has passed away is a healthy way of keeping the memories alive.

Grieving cannot and should not be set aside during the holidays or masked with tranquilizers. Grieving is a necessary part of the healing process. Repressing grief may impede this process.

So don't be afraid to discuss how much the deceased is missed during holiday visits with family and friends. Let others express their feelings of loss and share their memories of the departed loved one.

If someone died recently, perhaps a small remembrance, such as a necklace or scarf or book or tie belonging to the person, can be given to special people in his or her life. These lasting souvenirs will long be treasured by the recipients.

Every Christmas season I bring out a festive old wall hanging that my Great Aunt Alice bought in Mexico about 60 years ago, cloth ornaments made by my grandmother and Great Aunt Edna, delicate brass ornaments sent each year by my Great Aunt Elsa, a wooden tree and snowman made by my friend Brad, cookie recipes from my Aunt Louella, and other mementos from dear ones now gone from this earth.

Having those personal items in my presence brings these loved ones close and sparks memories that warm the heart during the coldest of seasons.

Nothing, of course, will replace the memories of holidays past spent with loved ones now departed.

By all means, celebrate and cherish those moments, even if they hurt. But reflect, too, on how much worse life would be to have lived without them.